I _____ before it was cool

Do you ever look around, I mean really look around, and notice how many hipsters there really are?

I’ll be walking down the street… just minding my own business…and then it hits me… like a ton of bricks… plaid shirts, skinny jeans, big-rimmed glasses… EVERYWHERE.

There is nowhere to hide. If there is one thing a hipster is good at…it’s making you question everything you ever thought was trendy, delicious or fabulous.

Have you ever walked past a group of people and thought to yourself, “they’re judging and talking about me”, but they really probably weren’t?

Well in this case they definitely were.

Whether you are in line at Starbucks, at a restaurant or shopping at a non-thrift store… it’s as if you did something wrong even if you didn’t. Your hair is wrong, your clothes are wrong… pretty much your life is basically just wrong.

It’s like there is this alternate universe they live in where everything we do as students or corporate America is completely lame and just shouldn’t exist. Yet, we are all suddenly yearning to live in the areas they live in and dine at the restaurants they deem acceptable.

I mean, honestly, when did it become normal for the 20-year old Audi driving corporate girl to worry about what a Goodwill sweater, tight jeaned, converse wearing guy deems acceptable?

Sometimes I think this is all in my head, so I decided to do some research on this… you know… just to make sure I wasn’t slowly entering the Twilight Zone.

The Huffington Post recently had an article on the top 10 hipster neighborhoods in the US and, thankfully, both Chicago and Austin made this list… Chicago coming in at #4 and East Austin at #7.  http://huff.to/Ujk66Y

So I continued my search on these people called “hipsters” just to… you know… figure out who they were and what they wanted from us “non hipsters”.

I came across an article on Wikipedia and found some tips on how to be a hipster, which I think helps explain them quite well…  And I mean… now that Libraries are disappearing by the minute, it’s really the only reliable source for me to get my information from… but, really…

Image

In case you think you run into a hipster but aren’t quite sure… or you want to join their “secret club” because you are too lazy to come up with your own style…here are some tips:

1. Pretend you’re poor… for some reason Hipsters like to come off as having no money (Goodwill is the new Nordstrom)

2. Stock up on skinny jeans… make sure they are EXTRA skinny (so tight you can see it all…really it’s quite unnecessary)

3. Be very sarcastic and avoid answering questions directly… also be chill no matter what situation you’re put in (but not chill in the normal chill way…chill as in “I am a hipster so no matter what you say my opinion trumps kind of way)

4. Listen to Indie music… I know this will be hard for all you non-hipsters since you are all depressingly mainstream…

5. Get an old fixie bike instead of a car. Less money, and better for the environment (even if it’s purple, just go with it…basket? Even better…maybe even a little bell on the handle bar)

6. Hang out with other Hipsters at local coffee shops, while discussing poetry or art (or that Indie band you saw at the local coffee shop who’s lyrics are like poetry). It’ll make you look deep and super “trendy”

I felt such relief as soon as I saw this… it confirmed my prediction… there is actually this thing called “hipster”… I’m not going crazy.

For now I guess we need to just accept this is part of our society and wait for the next trend to hit us. At least we can count on the hipsters keeping good restaurants open… supporting local breweries and produce and overall just being around.  If one thing is certain we will triumph and our opinions will once again matter…even if it takes a few years.

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Posted on September 23, 2012, in Humor, September and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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