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America, what a great country. Honestly we have so many great traditions and holidays and what could be more symbolic of our culture than millions of people coming together with their families for one day to stuff their bloated faces and stomachs with greasy flesh torn from the bones of innocent turkeys to feed greedy Americans… okay maybe that’s going a little too far. But Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where we spend hours cooking and for what? To cook the turkey until its dry, burn something or heck, I dunno, even drop a whole dish on the ground. Thanksgiving madness, its totally a thing.

My family takes the preparation of it way too seriously when we know that at the end of the night we are just going to pour a ton of gravy over everything… that’s what its there for though right? Thanksgiving is supposed to involve family, lots of wine, laughs, WAY too many cooks in the kitchen… and an occasional turkey hat purchased last minute from Target.


Reasons Why I Love Black Friday

There’s nothing like feeling that great sense of satisfaction for being first in line, on a Wednesday night, for the Black Friday sales. In a little over a week it will be Black Friday, which means it’s time to break out that camping gear. It is seriously my favorite time of the season. Honestly, drinking hot chocolate from a thermos while camping outside of Best Buy in below freezing temperatures is THE BEST. I mean you really just meet the nicest people as you shove your way to the front as soon as the doors finally unlock. Oh and don’t even get me started on the amount of exercise you get as you run to get your hands on that last present, that only really saved you $10… Whoa talk about dedication. The fact that there are people in the world who do not share my love and enthusiasm for Black Friday is beyond me. However, in the off chance that you will need me on Wednesday night, I’ll be the one camping outside on the mall’s public sidewalk, where people have walked, spit and done other disgusting things. Hope to see you there!

Airplane Windows that Don’t Open…A Real Problem…

I’m not one to go into an election with a preset notion about which side I’m for or against. I would rather see what both parties have to offer and then make my final decision. Mitt Romney has, much like Sarah Palin, been ridiculed for many things he has said. I get so mad because he just makes it so frustratingly hard to not laugh at some of things he says. I mean… I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all, and would make a great president, but come on… GIVE ME SOMETHING…. Semi-smart… so I don’t think you’re a complete idiot.

Okay, so maybe I’m being a little harsh… I say a lot of ridiculous things that I wouldn’t want people to take me seriously from… but then again, I’m not running for presidency. I mean maybe he is just joking… in a weird way that really no one understands except him…  I’ll let you decide for yourself…

“When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.” – Mitt Romney

After watching this video, however, I realized that much of what he said here, as well as the tone of his voice, makes me realize that he is, in fact, joking… I think? Reading what Mr. Romney said and listening to it, are two different things. I find that this happens a lot these days when it comes to social media or texting/emailing. Someone who doesn’t know you may not know the tone you are trying to use.

I think the problems with presidential elections are that A: the media over exaggerates everything and will do anything to find a way to make you look bad; and B: you never know if what you say will be taken in the wrong way or out of context. Its almost as if this whole thing is a total joke… Like maybe they should just wear paper bags over their heads or put duct tape on their mouths any time they are in public…

Really… then again… maybe I’m wrong and he is being serious. I doubt he would joke about his wife being in a plane accident… either way; the mockery on the Internet has been quite entertaining because of it…

Gangnam Style

Unless you have no idea how this whole social media thing works, but chances are if you’re reading this you probably do, then you’ve seen, Korean pop sensation, PSY’s highly eccentric and entertaining “Gangnam Style” video… you’ve also probably stood in front of a mirror while trying to master his fast-paced, highly sexual, horse riding dance…and if you haven’t… well… knock yourself out.

Yes… the video is pretty much ridiculous… I mean come on, these people are riding around pretending to be horses… but again… unless you have no idea how to use this great thing called the internet, you wouldn’t know that “Gangnam Style” is a parody in and of itself.

With over 250 million views, and counting, PSY pushes the cultural boundaries of Seoul, Korea’s richest, most eccentric, district, Gangnam, in a massively entertaining way.

For years eastern music artists have had the most difficult time making it mainstream in our western society… I mean I don’t see how… all they really had to do was put on some flashy, neon, clothes and dance around pretending to ride a horse all while making hand motions in mid air as if you were spanking someone. PSY… being the genius as he is… realized that in the US… *ding ding*… you guessed it…sex sells…. shocker there. He clearly used this to his advantage while also knowing that chances were we wouldn’t understand Korean… I mean how rude… but hey, any guy that can outsmart an American is A-okay in my book.

Aside from PSY’s ostentatious appearance, I really just don’t think his life is all that. Honestly… why would you want to sit next to a sweaty guy in a sauna, get down with some elders in a tourist bus or swim in a pool?

As I mentioned before, “Gangnam Style” is a parody and as with any catchy song, you can always count on College students to make their own videos showing how our lives are clearly better than everyone else’s…

Now this is what I’m talking about… The “Burnt Orange Tailgating Crew” should be the ones making millions… not this guy PSY,  who is clearly trying to one up us on the amount we spend as consumers… but really… I know The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, New Jersey, New York and Orange County could trump his so-called “Gangnam” lifestyle any day.

PSY makes it seem as if he has this lavish lifestyle… but who walks past a group of girls doing yoga and doesn’t do anything… you’re going to have to do a little better than that if you’re going to compete with us…at least UT girls grind all up on those frat daddies…I think we can clearly see who won this dance off.

Some might think that these UT students have this whole parody wrong… but oh no… it is so right. Who wouldn’t want to consume an immense amount of beer… not to mention doing a keg stand before a football game?

All satire aside… maybe looking a little deeper into the meaning behind “Gangnam Style” will do us some good. Although both videos clearly represent different cultures, the depiction of how much each society consumes is one and the same.

Both videos are over-the-top, but maybe that’s what we need… a kick in the face…or some weird dance resembling horses…  in order to get a message across. Maybe we don’t need to have the most valuable things or drink until we puke in order to fit in. Some might say that PSY is a ridiculous moron… or UT students are giving themselves a bad reputation; however, if you take a little time, on this great thing called the Internet, you’ll realize that  you can still have a great time sitting alone on a beach, in PSY’s case, or resting your head on your buddy’s shoulder in front of a TV at a UT tailgate. We could all benefit from trying to control how much the media brainwashes us by consuming a little less and maybe go back to the days when you couldn’t wait to play outside with your dog as soon as you got home from school, instead of playing video games… but hey, what do I know… I’m just another broke college student trying to get by in life…

Either way, both videos are quiet entertaining… so if you’re looking for a way to procrastinate or just to have a great laugh, I would suggest watching these videos over and over again.. or maybe just make your own parody and see how viral it goes.

I _____ before it was cool

Do you ever look around, I mean really look around, and notice how many hipsters there really are?

I’ll be walking down the street… just minding my own business…and then it hits me… like a ton of bricks… plaid shirts, skinny jeans, big-rimmed glasses… EVERYWHERE.

There is nowhere to hide. If there is one thing a hipster is good at…it’s making you question everything you ever thought was trendy, delicious or fabulous.

Have you ever walked past a group of people and thought to yourself, “they’re judging and talking about me”, but they really probably weren’t?

Well in this case they definitely were.

Whether you are in line at Starbucks, at a restaurant or shopping at a non-thrift store… it’s as if you did something wrong even if you didn’t. Your hair is wrong, your clothes are wrong… pretty much your life is basically just wrong.

It’s like there is this alternate universe they live in where everything we do as students or corporate America is completely lame and just shouldn’t exist. Yet, we are all suddenly yearning to live in the areas they live in and dine at the restaurants they deem acceptable.

I mean, honestly, when did it become normal for the 20-year old Audi driving corporate girl to worry about what a Goodwill sweater, tight jeaned, converse wearing guy deems acceptable?

Sometimes I think this is all in my head, so I decided to do some research on this… you know… just to make sure I wasn’t slowly entering the Twilight Zone.

The Huffington Post recently had an article on the top 10 hipster neighborhoods in the US and, thankfully, both Chicago and Austin made this list… Chicago coming in at #4 and East Austin at #7.

So I continued my search on these people called “hipsters” just to… you know… figure out who they were and what they wanted from us “non hipsters”.

I came across an article on Wikipedia and found some tips on how to be a hipster, which I think helps explain them quite well…  And I mean… now that Libraries are disappearing by the minute, it’s really the only reliable source for me to get my information from… but, really…


In case you think you run into a hipster but aren’t quite sure… or you want to join their “secret club” because you are too lazy to come up with your own style…here are some tips:

1. Pretend you’re poor… for some reason Hipsters like to come off as having no money (Goodwill is the new Nordstrom)

2. Stock up on skinny jeans… make sure they are EXTRA skinny (so tight you can see it all…really it’s quite unnecessary)

3. Be very sarcastic and avoid answering questions directly… also be chill no matter what situation you’re put in (but not chill in the normal chill way…chill as in “I am a hipster so no matter what you say my opinion trumps kind of way)

4. Listen to Indie music… I know this will be hard for all you non-hipsters since you are all depressingly mainstream…

5. Get an old fixie bike instead of a car. Less money, and better for the environment (even if it’s purple, just go with it…basket? Even better…maybe even a little bell on the handle bar)

6. Hang out with other Hipsters at local coffee shops, while discussing poetry or art (or that Indie band you saw at the local coffee shop who’s lyrics are like poetry). It’ll make you look deep and super “trendy”

I felt such relief as soon as I saw this… it confirmed my prediction… there is actually this thing called “hipster”… I’m not going crazy.

For now I guess we need to just accept this is part of our society and wait for the next trend to hit us. At least we can count on the hipsters keeping good restaurants open… supporting local breweries and produce and overall just being around.  If one thing is certain we will triumph and our opinions will once again matter…even if it takes a few years.

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